Manor Way

I hate Manor Way.

Manor Way is the road I sit on everytime I go to the clinic. I'm invariably on my own, as I'm either coming from work, or am going to work afterwards. Manor Way is where I sit and panic. It's where I wait in traffic that goes on forever and think about all the things that might be about to go wrong. I need to find some positive way to use that time - I tried to plan out this blog, but until I've been in for my appointment there's not much I can plan.

So I went for my scan and I was really worried that nothing would have been happening. And OH wasn't able to come, so Mam joined me. I never thought I'd have any sort of internal with my mother in the room, but I'm glad she was there.

There was a new doctor again (I only ever saw the one consultant all through the lead up, but now I'm seeing someone new each time!). I'll call her Dr. Business. She was all business. Pleasant, but not really interested in chatting to me. She gave me the whole scan whilst avoiding talking to me. And it took longer than the baseline scan. Ovary number 2 must have been a little more difficult to see, as instead of the little adjustments she made with the first, this had whole body movements to get to position, and was a lot less friendly to my poor battered cervix. She didnt' try to show me what was on the screen, and eventually when my nerves couldn't handle it any more, I said, "Are they growing?" "Yes, growing" was her (not quite) comforting reply. Mam could see the screen (although she hasn't had the practice I've had at interpreting the white and black splodges on screen) and could see that she was measuring lots of things.

So a quick clean and wipe up later, she makes lots of little crosses on a piece of paper and tells me the results. 1 at 16mm, 2 at 14mm, 1 at 13mm, 1 and 11mm and several smaller. That all sounds rather huge to me, in my dinky little ovaries. No wonder I'm starting to bloat... (Big fatty).

At this point I'm starting to realise I don't understand what's happening that well anymore. The girls on my forum and my tweeps seem to think that these are good sizes, and the fact that I've been called for my next scan on Wednesday (and not Friday like they initially expected) backs that up. I'm hoping that when I go for my next scan tomorrow they may let me know when egg collection will be. I don't really know what will happen then either. Something to do with a needle, a load of drugs up my rear end, an uncomfortable procedure that I may or may not remember and hopefully a great result at the end of it.

To be honest, at this point, I'm not sure how many details I want to know any more. It all seems a bit more intimidating now. The injections and the mood swings and what not were all something I could contemplate, but the next steps....

Also, I left work early today. I had some pains (bad enough that I couldn't stand up straight for ten minutes) and everyone around me looked so concerned that I think I just panicked. The nurses are happy that these pains are within the realms of normal, and the scan tomorrow will check if everything's ok anyway. No deviations from the plan please! I can't handle that, apparently...